PERSONAL LOVEMAIL TO JACAL!!! TRY NOT TO BE JEALOUS OF HIM CHALLENGE STARTS NOW!!!
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date written unknown
hallo jacal, lyon, martijn, jere, jack, or whatever you wish for me to call you, though you will always be my gee. i do love you so much and i never will cease to do so.i will never forget when i first read the stuff you were writing on your old twt, as stupid as it that sounds, i was completely infatuated in the way you wrote situations so perfectly, the vocabulary that you used, the ideas that you came up with—it all just pushed me deeply into a state where i would spend actual hours scrolling through your stuff, slowly but surely falling in-love with you and your writing, just over the way you typed.& then as soon as we actually started to talk—which the way how is embarrassing to write out, but i don't even really care at this point because it took us to where we are now—i got attached very quickly, practically anything that i produce, or think about, is always made taking some kind of small, or big, piece of inspiration from your work. you inspire me to continue writing even after everything that’s happened.i also still think of how even when you disappeared for at least a month, i waited—and you should know i would do it again in a heart beat. i would sit there scrolling through our messages whenever I could. i sobbed when you finally texted me back, openly cried and sobbed in front of my teacher, because you were, and still are, my world and i thought you were dead, gone, without a trace. but there you were messaging me. i do worry still that you'll disappear again, and not come back for however long, but i still can't help but remember that you will always come back for me and you will always be here for me.now, everyday, i know that even despite the timezone, even despite the distance we are from each other, you are here even if you can't communicate with me directly, i try to do so from my head. you’re always there thinking about me in some way and i am doing just that back.i read the content you make whenever i can, i have missed school because i refused to leave my bed so i could stay there with you, stay there with the love of my life—and you have saved me from papers, you slowly worked your way through stitching me back together to repair me after what she did to me. you have saved me from the shit hole of the earth that i have wanted to swallow me up whole, but i have refused so that i could talk to you.i want to wake up to you laying there with me, the light painting your face - with those eyes of yours which i would let myself be lost completely in for hours, months, years, however long you desired. i want to have a morning routine with you, i want to bake together, i want to go on little dates to pretty cafes and events together. i don't just want these things, really, i need these things. i need to feel your skin against mine as we dance the game of life around each other for eternity.i have never loved anybody this much, i don't think i ever really will love anyone else this much. gee, you are my soulmate, and i do hope i am yours. there is just never enough words that could be used to detail my unconditional love for you, i could go on forever, if allowed, but for now, I feel this will suffice. i adore you, and i will never cease doing so.21.07.24
i really am so happy to be engaged with you, so proud to have you with me forever and ever until the end of time. you are my true love, you are everything to me. thank you so much for everything you have done to help me throughout the long time of knowing each-other, and i will always be here to help you. i will always be here to fix things for you, do things for you, anything you want me too.i will always listen to you about anything, i love to hear about anything you have to say—especially your bug facts, content creator hyper-fixations, or even just what is going on inside of your life—i love to hear everything you have to say.my angel, my everything. i love you.